A relationship like no other!

As I sit here and begin to write down on paper what I am “passionate about that is accessible”, I smile knowing, that for most, what proceeds this sentence will only be accessible in theory and not in practice.  Many teachers will only relate to the emptiness that comes from not having this in their lives, even when we serve in this role every day.

 A teacher is defined as “a person who teaches or instructs, especially as a profession”. That is the absolute worst, heartless definition the dictionary has ever produced!

 For me a teacher means: life, direction, discipline, accountability, intimacy, transparency, and surrender. It means I have someone who loves me unconditionally (even my dogs don’t; they love me because I take care of them), who has no agenda, no motives in being with me, other than to help.

 A teacher preaches what he practices and never practices what he preaches. That is to say a teacher lives the way he speaks or at least my teacher does… A great orator has talent.  He can deliver a message that is moving, magical, and these people are easy to find in the world. A great teacher, however, does not have to say a thing and his greatness is felt.  He embodies all wisdom in his actions and these people are nearly impossible to find.

There is simply no relationship I have experienced to date (I am 46 years old) that is in any way comparable to the one I share with A. Parthasarathy aka My Beloved/Swamiji. There are no blessings, crystals given, mantras, mind-reading, fortune telling, none of that… There is no meditation, and there is absolutely nothing in this world I can give him, which in of itself is the most foreign, humbling teaching.  There is no money exchanged. In fact, the only exchange is one way; he gives and gives as I try to take and digest.

 My fatherhood was born out of my ego. My business was born out of my vanity. My teacher/student relationships were born out of my desire to burn away the ego and all its facets.

Einstein said “Setting an example is not the main means of influencing others, it is the only means.” There are many fine examples in the world to emulate when it comes to our professions or what I call external living.

 But who do you know that has maintained the same mood for 87 years!!! Lives completely stress free? Has no desires or motives to gain or lose anything? Loves everyone whether a saint or a sinner? Harbors no fears or resentments? These are the traits of human perfection that are outlined throughout the yoga scriptures.  Many of us lecture about these qualities while never having lived them! I have found someone who lives them. It is just being in his presence that has taught me what little I can live with. It is in the bosom of love that he gives to all creatures that I have found an ounce of salvation.

Peace,

EP

 


Let’s begin by identifying an oxymoron: men and yoga!

Generally speaking, it’s like oil and water. But men that practice yoga are smart, period. As for those that don’t, well… let me to try to help you.

Let’s face it, we men do not like being vulnerable in front of each other, let alone the opposite sex! And going to a class filled with sweating, half-naked women, and then being asked to move our bodies in ways we never have, is a tall order.

So gentlemen believe me, I get it. But here’s what you’re missing…

The_accepted_my_application_

If you don’t practice yoga but you consider yourself an intelligent person, did you know that “smarts” alone aren’t always enough? There is a fundamental difference between knowledge and wisdom.

Knowledge is knowing and wisdom is doing. Knowledge is sight and wisdom is insight.

Yoga teaches us how to convert a head full of information into a life filled with peace and prosperity, and that it’s not what we do in life that ultimately matters —  it’s how we do it!

Every man could use this lesson. The job does not make the man. The man makes the job.

Yoga teaches us there is no place for the ego if we want true peace in our lives. The ego only produces fear. Without fear, we are not concerned with what we will lose or never gain in this world. We are simply delighted to use our talents and resources to serve all of humanity.

A Navy Seal that recently attended my class said to me, “that was the toughest workout I’ve ever had in my life, even tougher than Seal training.” Yoga will prepare you for every sport and every activity. But nothing prepares you for yoga.

Clint Eastwood stated in one of his finest movies, Sudden Impact, that “a man’s got to know his limitations.” Clint’s a smart man and a serious meditator. Like Clint, yoga will teach you how to honor your limitations.

Yoga also makes us more comfortable in our skin and feel really good about ourselves. We learn to see ourselves through a different kind of mirror — an internal mirror. You can look good on the outside, but that does not mean you are going to feel good on the inside. But once we feel good from the inside-out, we are going to look really good as a result.

So guys, try to remember that yoga is not easy in any form, but it will make your life a whole lot easier. If you consider yourself a smart man, then get out there and try some yoga today!

Peace,
EP

This article was published in MindBodyGreen.com

A beautiful share from one of my first yoga students,  Lisa Chottiner.

Peace,
EP

“Do yoga,” said the infertility doctor. “You need to calm down to become pregnant.”

I was willing to do anything to have a baby. So I prepared my Type A overdrive for chanting, meditating, and levitating with a tiny man in a robe.

Instead, I found myself rocking poses to Cat Stevens, The Stones, and Jay-Z. My tattooed teacher seemed more suited to hang with Bret Michaels than the Dalai Lama.

This everyday guru, Eric Paskel, was the rock star of yoga. It wasn’t because of his killer good looks or his awesome playlist. It was because of his words. Eric was the first person to say he was full of sh**.

But he understood the human spirit and he had the power to express it in between calling out the poses.

Eric scraped souls.

He scraped mine.

After years of yoga classes, five failed IVFs, and a surrogate attempt that belongs on Dateline, Eric said, “wanting to have a child of your own is a selfish act when so many children need your love.”

I hated him.

He didn’t care what I thought. He spoke the truth.
Eventually, I knew it too.

So when the phone rang and the person on the other end said, “A baby girl was born.” I took a deep breath and was ready to welcome her home with less than 14 hours notice.

Three months later, the doctors said my baby girl was blind. I took another deep breath and knew this was a very special call to service.

My daughter is six years old. Each day brings new challenges, but also new joys.

It’s all because of the wisdom of my everyday guru.

1 sheet frozen puff pastry (from a 17.3 ounce package), thawed according to package instructions
5 1/2 ounces Gruyere cheese, shredded (2 cups)
1 1/2 pounds medium or thick asparagus
1 tablespoon olive oil
Coarse salt and fresh ground pepper
Flour, for work surface

Preheat oven to 400°F.

On a lightly floured surface, roll the puff pastry into a 16 x 10 inch rectangle.
Trim uneven edges. Place the pastry on a baking sheet. With a sharp knife,
lightly score the dough 1 inch in from the edges to mark a rectangle. Using
a fork, pierce the dough inside the markings at half-inch intervals.
Bake until golden, about 15 minutes.
Remove the pastry shell from the oven and sprinkle with the cheese.
Trim the bottoms of the asparagus spears to fit crosswise inside the
tart shell; arrange in a single layer over the cheese, alternating ends and
tips of asparagus.
Brush with the oil, and season with salt and pepper.
Bake until the spears are tender, 20-25 minutes.

Notes:
Can use Daiya Vegan Cheese
Scoring the dough – use a sharp knife to ensure that the
edges rise evenly; pricking the center of the pastry with a
fork keeps it from puffing up too high as it bakes.

Serves 4

Easy Rider

Addiction is a fixation on anything outside the self that you believe can deliver your happiness.  Anything.  Drugs and alcohol are givens.  But also included are romantic relationships, clothes, cars, money, prestige, jobs, adventure, and excitement.

These enticements are cunning, baffling, powerful, and no one can escape this dragnet.

So much time is wasted worrying about marriage, jobs and money.  When people lose these things, they act like their worlds are destroyed.  That’s no way for a human to live.

We continue to smash our heads against the wall because our happiness is dependent on some external agency.

This is the hallmark of addiction.  It’s a clinging dependency, despite negative or even catastrophic consequences.

I speak from experience.

I knew early on in childhood that I was destined to become an addict.  I was never comfortable in my own skin, and I never felt part of the world.  This made it easy for me to pick up the booze at age ten.  I was getting high at age 12.  By 14, I was snorting cocaine.  By 15, I was dealing drugs and smoking crack.  I was thrown out of two high schools and the family home, and I had been held up at gunpoint.

Thirty-two days before my eighteenth birthday, I was living in a friend’s attic, listening to Cat Stevens’, “Tea for the Tillerman”, and filling a pipe with lint I picked up from the carpet.  I caught a glimpse of my shadow on the wall.

I realized that I had hit bottom.

I entered treatment on January 24, 1986.  I’ve been sober ever since.

I learned ten years into my sobriety that yoga was going to be essential in my ongoing recovery.   Because as soon as I stepped onto my mat, I couldn’t hide from myself anymore.  So I didn’t come back for three years.

erikpaskelposecreativity2YJ-1024x10101.jpg4_1

Yoga offers a spiritual roadmap to find your individual truth, and that isn’t always comfortable.

Yoga and recovery are spiritual kin.  Karma Yoga is the action of selfless service.   Bhakti Yoga is the acute awareness of the infinite blessings that surround you.  Jnana Yoga is the study of the universal principles of living.  These yogic traditions are the heart of the Alcoholics Anonymous 12 Steps.

When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.

I don’t pull punches.  I want to keep it real.  Yoga is not about poses or poseurs (not a typo – poseurs are people who try to be someone other than their true self).  It’s not about trying to master a physical position.  No matter how beautiful your warrior is, it doesn’t make you a warrior.

Yoga is not about standing on your head; it’s about getting your head out of your ass.

Namaste,

EP

Based on an interview I gave to Nancy B. Loughlin, a writer and yogi in Fort Myers, FL

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When I started searching in earnest for a yoga studio that would serve my needs, I was disappointed to find that there was nothing out there for me .  Having overcome addiction and having practiced clinical psychology for a decade before coming to yoga, I was looking for something more than most yogis were looking for in their first trip to a studio. I began taking one “celebrity” yogi’s class after another, looking for a fit. Then I stopped looking to others and began looking within. Smile is my style of yoga.  Strange, but it was non-existent.

I want to make this the easiest practice when you open the door and walk in.  Easy as in: This is familiar. This is fun. This is relative. This is pertinent.  Instead of the sounds of harmonium, chanting, and prayers to Hindu deities, my Yoga Shelter studios blast music you know, instruct in plain English, and welcome everyone–and their baggage–to join the party.  A tight ass might be a byproduct of the Yoga Rocks workouts,  but  there is so much more.

A great body does not equate a great life.  If you only have so much time in a day, how much of it are you going to focus on this great body of yours? It’s a no-brainer!  If you’re not focusing on your body, what are you focusing on?

That’s where the critical part of the yoga practice comes into play. I take what I  learn from my teacher, Swami Parthasarathy, a Vedantic philosopher in India, and break it down into terms everyone can understand; learning to live the life we should and need to be living.  Off the mat, students need to  begin questioning everything.

I practice what feels familiar, and music is a big part of that. Yoga is about creating a silence within you.  But you do not need a silent room externally. Music can be a game changer, especially for newbies.  It can take an incredibly deep spiritual discipline and make it friendly, familiar, and less intimidating.

Rock on.  Now let’s get loud.

Peace,

EP

 

 

 

 

Silver Cave is the English translation - Viet Nam

As I pedal (on a life cycle in Hoi An) my way through another song on the instructor’s playlist (Tesla, “What You Give”) I am smiling, really marveling at my existence.

Who am I? I have searched through the scriptures from the West to the East. I continue to kneel at my teacher’s feet.  I have heard the answer.  But never once have I lived it or truly felt it.

What a life I live!  A life so full, so complete, but only to the naked eye. I am the only one who knows this creation called EP. Yet, I cannot seem to get beyond him; except for the faintest tad of consciousness that has me, at times, watching this guy, who I know is not really me.

Adored by his fans

I have traveled far and wide.  Yet for all the miles I have logged, I have not budged. I yearn to know who I am, but I am stuck in what I am not.  I watch the world go ’round. I hear your problems and I know my own.  I do see a oneness; it’s all of us lost!

This is my journey.  However, I know I am not alone. There are only a few of you out there who may understand me, and to you I say let us keep on searching; patiently, courageously, never giving up and never turning our backs on this great mission.

Let you and I be full of class when we quietly look the world in the face and say “KISS MY ASS”, for we will not fall prey to our little lives. There is something bigger, something better, somewhere in you and me and we will die looking for it.

No more will we base a changeless happiness on a changing world. Let us Rise from the basement of ignorance and reach up to the Throne Room, the Ultimate Shelter; the world beyond the one we know. The world where we are all knowing… One step at a time…

Peace,

EP

“Gratitude is heaven itself” — William Blake Thumbs upGratitude can be defined and understood as the only possible response to a gift.  A gift that is recognized as being utterly and freely given. Gratitude is a vision, a way of seeing, that recognizes a “gift”. Gratitude is not a feeling; feelings fade, for they are transient, and ephemeral. Gratitude is an ongoing thankfulness that comes from the knowledge of knowing how blessed we are and how many gifts we continue to receive.

The very core of all spirituality is gratitude. Without gratitude, one has no spirit and with it, one is spirited.

Remember what you have this Thanks-Giving. Think of just one thing that is wonderful about you; one thing that is incredible about the world you live in, and then you will have one hell of a Thanks-Giving.

It only takes a single blessing, a single gift, to make an entire life grand.

Peace,

EP

Praise the lord

The other day I had the pleasure of having two yoga teachers visit me at my home and as we soaked up a few rays, we also soaked in some good conversation.

Facebook, like any other tool, can be used for good or for bad; can be positive or negative, constructive or destructive. As one teacher spoke about her feelings regarding a recent Facebook battle, she said this, “I was disappointed, because he is a yoga teacher”.

It is my hope that we all hold ourselves to the highest standards, both personally and professionally. That we have enough self awareness to realize that we do not hold the title of yoga teacher; we teach yoga.

There may be pages upon pages written to communicate the differences, but I will save us from reading them, in order to encourage our own introspection and reflection.

We teach yoga and that is an honor. Because we are up in the “lights”, we are looked upon in a certain way.  Use that to lift you, but do not use it to fool you. We are just like the students we teach.  We simply play the role of teacher. Our winning formula comes from this truth.  It comes from being ourselves.  It comes from being honest with ourselves, with the world and secure in that knowledge!  We do not need to pretend or hide.  We do not need to be on an endless chase or “knowing more”.  We just need to speak to people’s hearts.  We need to make a great playlist and have fun with it; let it do the talking.  We need to get people sweating and thinking; that’s it!

YJSD15_Friday_PhotoFelgueiras_WEB-5744

What is clear is that we are not yoga teachers.  We are humans just sharing our hopes, strengths and wisdom with others. There is no pressure to be great.  There is only encouragement to be you!

Now that we understand that we share yoga and not teach it, lets push ourselves to be professional. It does not matter what anyone else is doing, or how they are behaving; be professional.  Smell good, look good and be on time.

Yoga teachers should spend more time talking about life than muscles and bones.  Talk about your music, or more importantly, why you play it.   Even if the same dialogue is used in every class, make it meaningful.  Have conversations that everyone is afraid of having and make them comfortable.   We have the opportunity to touch people in a moving, meaningful way, every day.

Lets seize the opportunity and bring our strengths and our weaknesses into it.

I can’t, we can!

Peace,

EP

 

Little_pow_wow

It’s always hard to start when there is so much to say. I have dreamed many dreams that have come true.  Today’s dream, too, became a reality.

Yesterday’s gorilla trek was incredible.  Fifteen gorillas, only an arms’ length away, were playing, bickering, and holding each other as only families can do.  But this was only the warm-up for a much longer trek to ultimately meet the Rusa family, the largest family of gorillas in Africa.

The drive was hours long.  The final leg of our journey led us down a road (if you can call it that) which would make even the most seasoned sailor nauseous.  As we geared up and received our final instructions, we hopped on a trail that led us through the locals’ farmland and into the rain forest.

The entire forest was made up of bamboo and some basic plants, including ground vegetation. We had a three hour hike ahead of us straight uphill and surprise, surprise, the last half of the hike we had to make our own trail, eventually climbing up 9500 feet to meet our new friends.

In anticipation upon seeing these amazing creatures, I am drawn to thinking of my own family. I immediately have a pit in the bottom of my stomach and am overcome by anger, sadness, but most of all shame. I see my daughters’ faces, who have been so torn up by a divorce that only one of us in the family wanted (not me).  I think to myself as I have over and over everyday for the past year how could I have stopped this?  I still have no answer.  At least not one that would have solved the real problem.   For that, I am so sorry for my girls, my friends, family and community that have been torn apart because of this.

I envision the poachers who want to break up the gorilla families, to separate, and destroy them for their own self seeking agendas.  I begin to weep as I realize how many poachers prey on the human family.

The family is the most precious system in the universe.  A place where we feel whole.  A place where we feel safe.  Where memories are made, stored and shared forever. The family is our chance to have one group of people witness our life span.  A place where we have the opportunity to work through our problems. The family can also be unsafe, unfriendly, and dysfunctional.  In fact it can be flat out destructive!

What_a_family

A family is all encompassing just like in the macrocosm.  The world is made up of opposites and only exists as such.  The same is true of the family in the microcosm.

The biggest threat against the family is the human mind.  A place within us that at any moment can switch from partnership to riding solo.  To change from long term vision to short sightedness. To move from working things out to getting out. The mind, at its very core, can enter into a marriage for a number of reasons and then leave it for the same, without us even realizing it.

 

One has to be steadfast to hold a family together.  The mind is impulsive. One has to sacrifice his or her little self for the good of the whole.  The couple who starts a family no longer has the right to think of themselves first.  They do not have the luxury of selfishness. Their only concern should be to focus on what is  best  for the children.

Over and over again I hear the cry from individuals within a marriage, or from one person in the partnership who claims that “it’s best for the kids that we opt for a divorce because I we are not happy”.  That is how cunning the poacher’s mind works, speaking to him as he prepares for the death blow.

There is nothing more cruel and selfish than hurting our children through our childish pursuit of happiness.  Modeling for them that sometimes vows have to be broken. Happiness comes through keeping our word.  From facing adversity, through raising ourselves to our highest heights.   Happiness does not  come from saying, “I no longer am in love with you”.  That “I don’t have this in me any longer”.  Or that “my needs have changed” and “I am no longer attracted to you”. Or maybe that, “we are better off being just friends”.

Whatever the mind produces, it is nothing but a lie in order to procure whatever it is after and the cost/ratio to the payoff is enormous. However, even  those that claim to have made the best decision and are happier now, in reality the agitation just shifted.

One may “feel better” but not be better.  The prison is the same.  The cell may be nicer and the amenities more suitable.   But a prison is a prison!

As I keep walking, I realize that during our journey as parents and couples we often forget why we are in it.  We become distracted by all the challenges; the aches and pains, the fatigue that comes from managing the entity and trying to get “ours”.  Sometimes the trail ends, and we think ” well this is it”.  However, just as the trackers forged a new trail extending the path they were on supporting their goal, we, as families, can do the same. We can cut through the dense jungle of the mind.  Chop down the branches that impede us.  Whack the vines that tangle us and knock down the bushes that cloud our vision, keeping us from seeing where we are going.

 

The trackers used machetes to accomplish their task in Africa.  We must use our Intellect to slash through our mind’s devices that thwart us from holding our family together.

I keep thinking about how much effort the poachers put into destroying these gorillas. I cry thinking about the destruction I have witnessed this year.  The brutal murder of an incredible family, devastates me.

I realize that  my children and I are suffering from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).  But we are not alone.  There are millions of families that have experienced what we are experiencing.

Do_you_see_what_I_see_

But unlike the gorillas that are defenseless in a shrinking jungle with growing brutality, we, as humans, can rise above the vicissitudes of the world and forge out a safe haven. where not even poachers of the worse kind can touch us. For the children who have been hurt by divorce, they can have the same opportunity, if we as parents show them the way.

In the end there is much that separate us from the gorillas. The most important one is our ability to go through trauma, and to out-maneuver our greatest predator, the human mind.

Peace,

EP