Some years ago when I was just a teen, my friends and I were at my parents’ house while they were out of town. Although the party was definitely rich with people and playthings, we decided that we wanted to take the show on the road. There were two vehicles in the garage ready to take us anywhere we wanted to go, except for one thing… my parents took the keys with them so I could not use their cars. I remember staring at the cars thinking, “what good are they without the keys, they can’t move”.
Years later I came across a similar and a much more global issue, New Year’s Resolutions. They cannot get you very far without knowing what are the keys to success. A few weeks into the New Year, many find they are slipping back into old patterns, even after swearing to themselves, family and friends, that things are going to change.
Here are 3 steps to help you uphold your New Year’s Resolutions:
1. I Can’t, We Can: We all must realize that a resolution comes from an understanding that something must change. Although it may have been just discovered, there is a history with whatever it is you are wanting to resolve. If you were able to make that change, you would not be reading this and you certainly would not have made it a resolution. Nothing in this world is done alone. I would not be writing this blog without my iPad. Someone built the chair I am sitting in and the desk I am typing at. Whatever you are looking to start or stop, learn or unlearn, will not be accomplished without help. Ask for help! Be willing to become an expert on whatever it is you are trying to do or not to do. You will need a village of friends, family, experts, support groups, as well as intensive study. You may even need to plant yourself in a conducive environment for your change, for an extended period of time. Point being, you must be ready to do whatever it takes. All change takes a lot of help and education. Remember, only you can do it, but you cannot do it alone!
2. The world does not need to change, you do. One of the biggest mistakes I see people make in pursuit of their own change is blaming people, places and things for change being difficult. Yes, the environment can make things easier or harder, but in the end as a human, you are designed to rise above environmental influences. You must not waste a moment trying to change others, or wishing things to be different. You must use that energy on yourself! If you put the amount of time looking outside yourself, into looking at yourself, all will be well. No one completes us and no one defeats us, but us! Look around the world. Do your research and you will find an unrelenting law: “You are the architect of your own fortune and misfortune.” – (A. Parthasarathy). It is you that has choice. It is you who has taken yourself out of and into everything you have experienced. Know deeply that no matter what is happening around you, you are responsible for what is going on within you! You are fully responsible for your New Year’s Resolutions. You chose them and now it’s up to you to deliver. Refer back to Step One now and get help.
3. Work: Now it’s time to do the work. You will make mistakes. You will relapse. You will struggle. New Year’s Resolutions can be set-ups for failure simply because change takes time and an unswerving commitment. They do not go far on impulse. Working on changing is change itself. Understand what you are really trying to do and be realistic with the results. Many of us have a nasty habit of unrealistic expectations, which come from a lack of understanding or education on what our resolutions entail. I hear every year from countless people wanting to stop drinking or, of course, wanting to change their eating habits. These kinds of changes do not just happen and if they do, they will not last. You must educate yourself on the subject. Changing habits, arresting addictions are big time ventures that take incredible amounts of time and energy to see them through. They can involve job and relationship changes and much, much more. Resolutions such as watching less TV involve a bigger “picture”; with a deeper, underlying issue. One of your resolutions may have to be to transform your relationship with self-work. Without a healthy relationship, working on yourself will quickly become strenuous, and stressful. Once in that state, the mind is looking for relief and guess where that relief comes from?? Yep, the very thing you were trying to give up, the mind will find a new habit that you will one day need to stop! Learn to love the struggle, the challenge of change and you will set yourself free. These are the bare essentials for making good on your NYR. In most cases resolutions are truly about taking a personal inventory. Once that inventory is taken, we are left with a deeper awareness on how we wish to improve ourselves. There is no creature alive that can live and love like a human being. You have won the “creature lotto”. However, in order to open the treasure, you have dig deep within yourself to unlock it. The keys to unlocking your treasure are essential.
I have designed a 10 day program, Eric Paskel Life and Teacher Training to do just that. Learn more about this dynamic program. Once you jump on the road of transformation, the need for resolutions is no longer there, because every day you are already doing the work. Here’s to your greatness!
Cheers,
EP