Everyone’s An Addict

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Easy Rider

Addiction is a fixation on anything outside the self that you believe can deliver your happiness.  Anything.  Drugs and alcohol are givens.  But also included are romantic relationships, clothes, cars, money, prestige, jobs, adventure, and excitement.

These enticements are cunning, baffling, powerful, and no one can escape this dragnet.

So much time is wasted worrying about marriage, jobs and money.  When people lose these things, they act like their worlds are destroyed.  That’s no way for a human to live.

We continue to smash our heads against the wall because our happiness is dependent on some external agency.

This is the hallmark of addiction.  It’s a clinging dependency, despite negative or even catastrophic consequences.

I speak from experience.

I knew early on in childhood that I was destined to become an addict.  I was never comfortable in my own skin, and I never felt part of the world.  This made it easy for me to pick up the booze at age ten.  I was getting high at age 12.  By 14, I was snorting cocaine.  By 15, I was dealing drugs and smoking crack.  I was thrown out of two high schools and the family home, and I had been held up at gunpoint.

Thirty-two days before my eighteenth birthday, I was living in a friend’s attic, listening to Cat Stevens’, “Tea for the Tillerman”, and filling a pipe with lint I picked up from the carpet.  I caught a glimpse of my shadow on the wall.

I realized that I had hit bottom.

I entered treatment on January 24, 1986.  I’ve been sober ever since.

I learned ten years into my sobriety that yoga was going to be essential in my ongoing recovery.   Because as soon as I stepped onto my mat, I couldn’t hide from myself anymore.  So I didn’t come back for three years.

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Yoga offers a spiritual roadmap to find your individual truth, and that isn’t always comfortable.

Yoga and recovery are spiritual kin.  Karma Yoga is the action of selfless service.   Bhakti Yoga is the acute awareness of the infinite blessings that surround you.  Jnana Yoga is the study of the universal principles of living.  These yogic traditions are the heart of the Alcoholics Anonymous 12 Steps.

When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.

I don’t pull punches.  I want to keep it real.  Yoga is not about poses or poseurs (not a typo – poseurs are people who try to be someone other than their true self).  It’s not about trying to master a physical position.  No matter how beautiful your warrior is, it doesn’t make you a warrior.

Yoga is not about standing on your head; it’s about getting your head out of your ass.

Namaste,

EP

Based on an interview I gave to Nancy B. Loughlin, a writer and yogi in Fort Myers, FL

11 Comments

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  2. You are correct that addictions can take any form.
    I have found that my addiction was to and still is to some degree, Pain, it is what I learned early on having been a incest survivor, (which was repressed until I was 39 years old). I was groomed as an infant all the way into my early teen years to look to sex from anyone that would fill that roll, as a way to find connection, many including teachers, and step-father, the list is too long, would act this out with me.. So, I have found relative peace this last 10 years with my courage to let the memories surface and to remember thru this process the divinity with in…… Peace, Melissa Lee

    • Thank you for your incredibly brave and honest share. As I write this, I am at our Life Training program in Mexico. Too many have the same story and not enough have gotten to where you have arrived. I salute you and I am always here to help.
      Peace,
      EP

  3. Thanks so much for sharing your wisdom…
    I too, am an addict, having come out of rehab just months ago. The road has been rocky, and as an instructor as well, I neglected my mat as I filled my world with drugs and alcohol. Low and behold, as I was detoxing in treatment, I came back to my mat….It gave me comfort through the detox phase, and strength through the healing process. ~Serenity~Courage~Wisdom~ Cheryl

  4. Your ‘blog’ is interesting to say the least. But it is absolutely factually incorrect on many levels. If this is just a compilation of your beliefs, then you should entitle it just THAT.

    You claim to know something about addiction and the ’12 steps’ quoting:these yoga traditions are the heart of the Alcoholics Anonymous 12 Steps. However, your interpretation is absolutely wrong.

    Further, what you believe an addict —-is exactly the life you are living.

    • Thanks for the lesson! I really appreciative the kindness and openness in which you shared. It’s rare to come across someone as wonderful as you. Be well!
      Peace,
      EP

  5. I have recently begun (again) to practice yoga almost daily and I truly believe it is essential in my journey in recovery. I reached bottom a few times in the past year nearly resulting in death. I had to be placed in a medically induced coma in order to save my life. Oh how things have changed… I have come to know a new beauty and truth within myself that I honestly did not think existed. If it weren’t for my yoga practice my recovery would not at all be the light filled positive experience that it is today. I cherish every moment, even the painful and uncomfortable ones I have on this earth. I deeply appreciate your article. Thank you. Namaste.

  6. Your words bring true inspiration to a man finding his way through recovery and discovery. The pain can be so overwhelming at times it’s blinding and the confusion of the mind can be paralyzing. Recognizing that others have gone this way before and have come out into a Life of strength and grace is truly comforting. The self-loathing and shame are so burdensome and can result in horrible lashing out at any criticism. Watching the way you handle such criticism gives hope that I can one day Love myself enough to be gracious with all I come in contact with. Much Love.

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